Whose homework is it?

I am new to the whole "near step-parent" thing.

I never intended to be a real parent, as in birthing a real live human, but it seems as though I have acquired a couple of wee ones by proxy.

One of the "little-uns" is in 3rd grade, going on 4th. Big homework is starting to come her way. As in her "Explorer's Project", where she selects an explorer to research, write about, and create a map to illustrate his voyages. To a road-weary 45 year old, this is a no-brainer. But in a 3rd grade universe, it is huge.

Fortunately, this kid wants to do her own work. Unfortunately, one of her parentals seems hell-bent on making sure her daughter look GREAT and BRILLIANT and PERFECT for her classmates and teachers. Why unfortunate? Well, as I understand it, 3rd graders are supposed to do their OWN homework. Yet in this case, it became the case that "Mom" became so "excited" that she "helped" her daughter out. Helped so much that, in fact, the work wasn't her daughters, but hers.

Don't get me wrong: Helping people is good. But doing it for someone else? Give me a break.

So this weekend, we all spent time re-creating a map, thinking that this was the only thing that required a re-do. The first map was great...too great. So she got to do again, all by herself. There were tears, fibs, confessions, and in the end, a sparkly new map.

But the drama didn't stop there. Another portion of the assignment required the drafting of a letter from the explorer to someone back at home. This is where my advice to parents comes in:

If you are going to write a fictional, yet factual, letter for your child's homework, make it accurate:

• Don't write a letter to an unborn child.
• Make sure the supplies taken to the New World are things that you can get in the country of origin...not items indigenous to the place you are traveling to.
• In referencing gifts from unborn children, make certain you describe what they are really designed to do.
• Get your travel times right.

I now understand the biggest reason for not doing your kid's homework. Chances are good that you aren't quite as smart as they are. Worse yet, if you aren't as smart as your kid, and they have to present YOUR inaccurate and continuity-challenged work, it will be your kid who looks like the idiot. Is that really what you want for your children?

Let your kids do their own work. Let them skin their knees; be ready with the Bac-Tine. Encourage them to do better each time. Remind them that perfection cannot be had, only attempts that can get closer to that mark. Finally...

Give them the chance to show you up.

Now, where's my apple?

KLM